Other Writing

So you don't like my poetry, eh? Think you know quality, eh?
Oh, you're just looking around? Well then don't mind any of that.
This is the 'Other Writing' page obviously and what it is is where I put anything I consider writing that isn't poetry.

Vague, right?
Well, what I mean is anything like short stories, essays, scripts or anything I come up with (other than poetry) along the way that I feel like sharing I'll put here. 


Not to be a broken record but like I said in the 'About We.' page, just don't be an ass about intellectual property and all that. If you'd like to quote these or something go right ahead but give me credit in some way shape or form.

All that serious stuff aside and as with everything else on the site,
Enjoy.



Little Boys Who Play With Fire Often Leave With Hands Full of Ashes


So a pseudonym or nom de plume I often use is 'Freearsons' or 'The Freearson', both have been (and the first is currently) my twitter name, plus I use in a lot of other places too. There is a reason I have a bit of a fixation with it, it's a name I came up with which as a play on the name of the lodge called the Freemasons or Freemasonry. Nowadays, as far as I know, they're kind of just a men's lodge and they do work around the community, "hang out" and a lot times you'll see signs on the road with this symbol on it. 


                                                 
                                                 
                                                 
                                                 
                                                 
                                                 


Sounds kind of boring on the face of it right? But if you've seen National Treasure or taken a history class ever you know that there is a bit of history/legend about them. Supposedly many of the founding fathers of the U.S. were Freemasons and would meet in secret and had a hand in a lot of behind the scenes things that shaped our country and what not. I honestly don't know a lot about all the secrets but I have always been fascinated with the idea of it, another similar group are the Knights Templar, don't know why I didn't fancy them, their name is a bit cooler. Also some of my relatives were Freemasons and Knights Templar but I believed they passed before I met them, tragic but at least I have some sort of ties. But I digress, the idea behind the name 'Freearsons' is the opposite, masons build, arsons destroy aren't I so clever? But it's not literal destruction, there are a lot of ideals and mindsets and things really wrong with the world today and that's what the 'Freearsons' stand for if they were an organization, the removal or 'destruction' of such things. If I ever start a band or make my own music 'Freearsons' will be the name of the group, I've also written a poem about them and I have a lighter with the Masonic symbol on it ( I can't remember if I got it before or after I thought of the name, hell in all likely hood it's what inspired the name). Fire has a special significance to me, I carry a lighter around all the time, I don't smoke but I still keep one on me because fire is what inspired me to start writing poetry. Once, several years ago, in the winter I was rather upset over details we shall leave out and I just vented onto a piece of paper and wrote a lot of hateful and angry things. When I was done I took it outside and burned it because I thought it was ugly and I didn't want it to exist and I just thought that if this was gone it would sort of represent a release of the stress, anger and sadness I was feeling. So I burned the pages and picked up the blackened pages and crumbled them up and let them go and the winter air blew the away, and that's where I got the inspiration for my first poem "Ashes In The Wind" which I've posted before and you can find it in the 'Poetry' archive page. That is one instance of many where fire has played a major part in my life, which is strange to say but that's why I like it so much because it tears down something in a amazingly stunning way so one can start over. Also I have an idea for a play/book/movie about Freearsonry as it were but that's beside the point.

But that's why I really like and use the name 'Freearsons' because it stands for the complete destruction of something, wiping the slate clean and starting over. It's represents revolution, destroying something ugly and rotten to start building up something beautiful and new. The removal of a lot of terrible things that have been in place in this world for a long time so we can start over, clear away the ashes and build a better tomorrow that will last as long as the fire burns. And if the fire goes out and everything goes sour, then we can "burn" it and do it all over again. This doesn't mean that I hate what the Freemasons stood for, hell I don't even know everything they stood for and yeah I really should if I'm going to use the name publicly but oh well, I'll buy a book about them or something. But that is what the name means if you have ever seen me or ever see me use it, and heck if I'm famous one day and you see that name in a book store or on a CD or the silver screen you'll know who and why it is. 

                                
                              
                            
                                                                      
                                     
                     
                                         
                                                                                   
                                                                                  

                                                                                   
                                                                                    
                                                                                                                
                                                                                                                       
                                                                                                                  
                                                       
                                                                                 

                              
                                                                                        
                                                                                                     
                                                                            
                                            
                                                                                      
                                                                  
                                                                                
                                                                                        




I usually don't explain my poems but I will a little bit here, this one veers off from the global ideals of Freearsonry and focuses more on a personal level, a relationship between two people but it also still has to do with everything I talk about above. Take what you will from it, but then again isn't that what poetry is about? That's why I never explain them, and really I haven't with this one either. The mark of a great poet is to be able to create writings everyone can relate to and will affect humanity on a universal scale, some times I worry if my writings are too specific to my life... I'll also include a few songs that have to do with the name or just have to do with what this entire post has been talking about. I know this is a lot but I haven't posted in forever and after this may not for a while but we'll see won't we?

Godspeed with sincerity,
C.B. 



A Digression Of Everything:  An Essay.




This “essay” is incredibly convoluted ( ß Never had to spell that word before… if I have I can tell you it wasn’t right.)ß My case in point. It’s just my ramblings and thoughts, and when I write like this it just fires off which is fine for poetry but not so much for an “essay” so I do apologize.


It’s a mess. You’ve been warned.
I also probably won’t proofread this and I have the syntax of an ape.
You’ve been warned again.
Also the font & set up may be a bit off since I just copy and pasted this straight from Word.
You've been warned for a third and final time.


Abandon hope of clarity all yee who read.


As I stood, looking at myself in my bathroom mirror contemplating on whether I liked how my hair & beard was now cut, or more appropriately if other people would, or even more appropriately if pretty girls would, and listening to a new Red Hot Chili Peppers song that came up on shuffle I tried to decide whether I should go and play Sims 3 for a good portion of the night, play a round of Mario Party 8 or write this (And also thinking about how many times I have started a poem or stanza with “As I”. Probably a lot). Hopefully my conclusive decision is obvious. If not, please step away from the monitor and make a swift trip to the ledge of a tall building as you are, as Russell Brand would put it, an oxygen thief and are abusing this world’s knowledge as much as I abuse the use of a comma. Speaking of death (nice segue) I would be lying if I said it hasn’t been on my mind a lot this past year. (Happy New Year by the way) , something that might seem apparent from my poems, or not, I’ve never really gotten a good review or reception of poetry.
Aside from friends opinions but how honest are they with these things? Strangers may be more honest in these matters but perhaps not we, at least I, are usually putting on a façade 90% of the time. My point being that I don’t know what my point is. But I digress, where was I? Oh right, death. Well I just watched Stranger Than Fiction for the 2nd time with my father. Great movie, but it’s comments on death and life are only among a collection of several from countless movies and books that I've been hearing. I’ve been to two funerals this past year and they both sparked thoughts (Many things spark thoughts for me)I need to get back on track. I used to know exactly what I wanted to do with my life, or rather I had never really given very deep thought. I wanted to be an Actor/Comedian and hadn’t really thought much past that. After being denied for the acting program twice at my current school (tried out a third time a few weeks ago…we’ll see), having my faith in my dream, skills, talent, future, god, purpose being totally rocked and my “religion” almost gone at this point I found myself scrambling around for reasons.  So I often wonder what will happen when I die, as do most of us, and I think about what my purpose is and why I’m doing what I am. I wonder what would happen if I died tomorrow or soon. I’m worried that if I died tomorrow that who I truly am would truly die along with me. I’ve considered writing a letter or a will in the case of my death.  I’m afraid that through my own emotional reclusion from my parents and friends that they don’t understand who I am. I don’t want to die and have the memories of me be false ones. Jesus, I just wrote that and when I thought of that actually happening it shook me to the core. We lie so much and cover up everything to the ones who are often close to us and we don’t even realize what would remain after we’re gone.  I feel nauseous. That’s not a lie.


The last funeral I was at was my grandmother’s(On my mother’s side). She lived to 97, born in 1914. What really shocked me at the funeral was how blasé everyone acted. There was viewing and sort of a waiting period for everyone to arrive until the actual service was started people would stand around and look at the body that used to house my grandmother’s fading consciousness.  After people viewed the body they would talk to the other relatives or friends and there was a point where people were just having small talk. About weather, family, jobs. Small talk? Literally someone we knew just stopped existing in this world 3 days ago and we’re talking about how the wife’s doing?  Call me naïve, I know this happens all the time, people die, children starve, travesties happen throughout the world and have been happening for centuries before I was born and I complain when a restaurant doesn’t have my favorite brand of soda and I’m calling out this one time because I was involved. We’re all constantly hypocritical; we tell someone to finish what’s on their plate because there are starving children in Africa but wouldn’t even think of taking it over to them.


Brutality and suffering is commonplace. We treat it as such. We live a life of luxury and point fingers at each other.  Act accordingly.

Again (again) I digress,  I just find it stunning when we as humans treat things like death as that. When I die I want to be cremated and this is for several reasons. I don’t like the idea of being buried underground, it’s eerie, the idea of waking up or coming back or not actually being dead is so unlikely but it’s in the back of my mind (Though waking up during cremation is probably more awful, pleasant thoughts brought to you by my brain). I don’t like the idea of being a name on a headstone in a sea of hundreds even more. I don’t like what morticians do to the bodies, being all made up and what not, it makes the body look like a mannequin and I think it’s inappropriate and crude. I understand situations where that’s necessary but even so I don’t like it. I don’t want to be tied to this world physically anymore, If I die I want the only thing outliving me to be my memory, my legacy and my work. 


My grandfather (on my father’s side) was cremated. He had a lovely ceremony and service. I don’t know where my mind was at the time was. I don’t know what I was thinking then. I’m a very different person than who I was then. I respected my grandfather very much, I still do and I miss him a lot, It’s hard not to cry thinking about him as I write this, I write that last part not for sympathy or to show off compassion or some sort of malarkey like that, it’s for honesty. I’m sharing my poetry with you people, and that’s about as honest as I can get. Unfortunately I didn’t know my grandmother who recently passed as well.
Stories were told about my grandfather at his funeral that made me proud to be his grandson and helped me understand where I got my sense of humor too. Stories that made people laugh. It was awesome. That’s something I want when I die. I want a party. I don’t want sad photos of me everywhere or flowers, I want a party, I want laughter, and I want music and fun. That’s what I live for, what I want to live for and I hope that’s what I die for.


Our lives could end at any minute, in so many ways. People say that and then we push it out of our minds because if we constantly thought  that we’d go through life afraid and terrified but maybe we’d live better. That’s what Stranger Than Fiction is about, countless songs, tattoos, books, stories, parables, tales, etc. etc. etc. 


Don’t forget about that.
So that’s why I think about these things and what I’m doing with my life.
Because my life could at any moment and people think that’s a reason to party and drink and sleep around and just


“Live life” as they would put it.


Something about that doesn’t seem right to me.
I can’t explain it. Because you might live, that should be the hope at least.
The inevitability of death should be a reason to build a legacy, a story to be left behind when you die. It shouldn’t be an excuse to throw it away for a bottle or drug.
There’s that hypocrisy I was talking about again.
But my actions shouldn’t undermine what I’m saying now, they may, but they shouldn’t.

On the other side of that, the inevitability of death should motivate  and not let them be afraid to try things and “Live Life”, not necessarily in the party sense of the term but in the “Life” sense of the term.
What I mean when I say that is that you can’t throw your life away on pointless things, and can’t just ground yourself. Don’t bury your nose in a textbook, throw yourself into your job and ignore the outside world and the rest of your life. Big picture. That’s all I really need to say I think. It’s all cliché, I apologize for that. I often strive so much for originality that it impedes progress.  I often strive so much for conformity and oneness that it impedes the progression of originality. It’s the ebb and flow.

Maybe I’m writing this more for myself than anyone else but it seems that I’m the main percentage of people who read this blog is comprised of me, myself and I so it’s fitting. I want to be an actor because I love the way it feels to be someone else and not be me for a while, it’s exhilarating to get people’s approval and applause. I love making people smile and laughter, my jokes, things like that, it’s a physical thing to me, I own it, I created it. So when someone approves of something I created out of nothing it feels awesome. I feel the same way about poetry  & writing.

These all feel like such selfish, pointless, vain reasons though.
That’s why I often question what I do.
But I also like it because it’s a part of something bigger than myself. Being famous, that notoriety allows you to inspire people and influence them in a very big way. I like that. Acting, I hope as an actor I can inspire people to follow their passion as I hopefully will. As a comedian I hope I can help people feel good, laugh, maybe forget about the bad things in their lives for a while like so many comedians have done for me. As a writer I hope readers can relate to the problems I’ve faced when I’ve written these and that they move them to do something. Anything.

I think that’s why I do what I do. “I think.”

So,
What this essay does for you? Couldn’t tell ya, hopefully it’s made you turn the looking glass on yourself and your life. Maybe it’s made you think, which all I can really hope for is. It was a lot of rambling and a lot of personal ramblings, too much maybe. Oh well.

I’d say sue me, but I don’t have a proper lawyer.

(Feedback would be much appreciated actually. Check the "Contact Me." page to figure out how to...well...um.. contact me.)

Godspeed,
C.B. Franz