How I Don't End With Me or Not The Why But The How

Here's Looking At You Kid

Why didn’t anyone jump in
like in the movies -

A heroic thing

- Like in the movies

To save me?
I didn’t want to swim back up

It was dirty

And grimy,

Tip toed feet know

I don’t want to keep sinking

Why is everyone on dry land yelling?
Why is everyone on the boat yelling?
Why am I not yelling.
It’s not the why but the how.
How is easy

Land,

Short, definitive
And it stops.
why is the water I’m sinking in

Water is like the thoughts

They don’t move with,

But around you.
How didn’t I swim back up?
Wh-…How do I shift the blame?
How can I move again?
Why don’t I just sink to the bottom.

It’s a calamity chaos,

And oyster, I’m a pearl

Looking for myself in the world that is mine.
Because the world ends with me doesn’t it?
It doesn’t

So that’s how I find out,
How I don’t end with me.
How I will continue with the world.